took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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