Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Pooping to opera.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
