I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
