a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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