I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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