So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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