she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
