i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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