Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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