I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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