why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize