does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
