He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
