I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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