In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize