I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
