i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize