I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
