Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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