Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
