i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
