just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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