Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
