I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
