Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you would pick up someone in the library
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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