the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
