I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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