i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
