Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
