Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
