The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I am naked and annoyed.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
