At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
