McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
