We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
