why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
