I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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