This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
