She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
