I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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