just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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