Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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