I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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