After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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