The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
