Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
