It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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