so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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