he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
