she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
