ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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