Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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