So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
