Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
