It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
