The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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