Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
