ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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