it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
