would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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