You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
