Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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