I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She even gives head with a lisp.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
