Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
