You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
