I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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