Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Randomize
