Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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