The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
