Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
