burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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