she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
