Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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